Money Greedy, You Trample My Soul

I’m the last person who should be registering for gifts.

But isn’t that part of the fun of getting married? People buy you stuff. Aren’t you supposed to want that?

The whole concept of a gift registry is a bit on the presumptuous side. You invite people to your wedding, and it’s almost expected that your guests will buy you something.

For the last couple of years, I have told people not to buy me things. Birthdays, Christmases, whatever—I make it pretty clear I’d prefer if you didn’t waste your money on someone like me. The sad part about this is that no one listens.

Since I abhor the thought of people spending money on me, registering for gifts has been…interesting so far. And we haven’t even gotten very far yet, because we are very busy and important people, and who has the time to wander around Target, scanning glassware or sets of organic cotton sheets?

Most couples pick two to three places to register, and one of the places we picked is Bloomingdale’s, which to me, is like one of the nicest stores on the planet. Sometimes, I’m not even sure I should be in there, or that they will ask me to leave, because I look too destitute to be shopping there.

One of the things most couples register for is a set of dishes. Traditionally, couples that lived separately and move in together after the wedding would need new dishes, or a set of matching dishes, or something. I already had a full set of dishes, from a settlement with Corelle, from an embarrassing kitchen-related injury I suffered a few years back.

But since people are supposed to buy us stuff—we registered for new, fancy dishes. Dishes so fancy, and expensive, that I will more than likely be afraid to eat off of them.

Since we know everyone is not made out of money, or has access to a Bloomingdale’s (there is only one in the whole state of Minnesota) we also registered at Target, where one thing sits on our registry—an XBOX 360.

Now, those of you who know me, know that I don’t play contemporary video games, and haven’t purchased a video game system since 1993—and that Super Nintendo still is hooked up to our TV and yes we do still play NBA Jam Tournament Edition on it. But somehow, like most people in the world, I have fallen under the spell that the game Rock Band casts on you.

What’s that you say? Our plates at Bloomingdale’s are probably less expensive than an XBOX, so what’s the point of registering for more “affordable” options at Target? Well, for starters, Bloomingdale’s doesn’t have an electronics department. Also, like I said, who has the time to wander around Target scanning stuff?

We barely have time to update this blog.