Everybody's Got A Hungry Heart

by Kevin


As someone who used to be a wedding videographer, I have had my fair share of wedding food. And as someone who is a vegetarian, at said weddings, I have had my fair share of corn, mashed potatoes and dinner rolls, because weddings held in rural Iowa never cater to vegetarians—especially the vegetarian who wasn’t really invited, and is just there, holding a bulky video camera on his shoulder.

Wendy and I consider ourselves to be people who like food—well prepared, savory, moderately healthy food. (But don’t you dare call us “foodies.”) So when it was time to start looking at catering options for our reception, we knew that we would be hard to please. The reception hall we booked only allows an elite few caterers in, so our options are limited to begin with.

First up was Prom Catering, who also has the distinct privilege of being the “exclusive alcohol vendor” for the reception site. Upon glancing at their menu, we noticed that they were A) pretty pricey, and B) not very vegetarian friendly. But just to start gathering some figures for how much feeding everyone is going to cost, I emailed them to get some quotes.

After a few days, I still hadn’t heard back from them, so I begrudgingly called the Prom Catering office. I really hate talking on the phone, especially with people I don’t know, and especially about things like this—I really have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m sure I will come off sounding like an idiot on the phone.

While speaking to the receptionist, I gave her my name, and she told me that it sounded familiar. I told her it should—I emailed them days ago, and they never bothered to call me back.

Eventually I was passed onto one of their sales associates, who told me that she would send me the quote for a plated chicken dinner.

“No, no, no,” I interrupted. “It needs to be a vegetarian entrée.”

She told me she understood, and that she would email me price quotes for a vegetarian dinner. Another two days passed, and I then received price quotes for a plated chicken dinner.

Apparently, everyone who works at Prom Catering is an idiot.

Following this debacle, Wendy and I separately scheduled tastings with two of the other three vendors allowed at the reception site. First up was Cossetta’s, an Italian restaurant in St. Paul—who apparently has a decent reputation of good food.

Upon meeting with them, and finishing our tasting, we found that they apparently do not have a reputation of having any personality.

The woman we met with was quite possibly one of the most awkward people I have ever encountered. The food that we tasted included bruschetta, a salad primarily made up of ice berg lettuce, more bread, a bland and slightly mushy penne pasta, and a ravioli that tasted like it was filled with saw dust.

We hadn’t even made it out of St. Paul when Wendy realized that something we had was not agreeing with her stomach. On top of that, we had a trunk full of food from the tasting that we were given on our way out the door. Food now that we have no desire to eat again.

Our second tasting was with the hilariously titled Chow Girls Killer Catering. A relatively new catering firm, and new to the small list of exclusive caterers for our reception site, we were pleasantly surprised with most of the food we sampled. We tried many fine appetizers, including samosas, egg rolls and cous cous.

The one draw back with the Chow Girls is that they are kinda pricey. They use mostly organic and locally grown ingredients for all of their dishes. What’s strange is that Cosetta’s claimed to import ingredients from European countries, although I am certain what they meant by that is they import their ingredients from the back of a Sysco truck, into their loading dock, and then into the pantry.

But as the old saying goes, “you get what you pay for.” With the Chow Girls, you pay for good food—you’ll get good food. With Cosetta’s, who were QUITE a bit less money, you pay for bland, crappy food—you’ll get bland, crappy food.