Champagne Supernova

Not to come across like a Debbie Downer, but damn, planning this wedding is really taking a toll on us. An unexpected toll. I knew it wouldn’t all come together on its own, but I had no clue that some aspects would be so difficult.

Take for example—the alcohol.

There was a lyric from a Barenaked Ladies song that went like this—“Alcohol: my permanent accessory.” It seems that if you are going to throw a party, specifically a wedding reception, people are going to want to drink.

Getting the booze for this party, however, is not as easy as going to the liquor store and filling up a cart.

As mentioned in previous entries, the reception site that we booked is SOOOOO exclusive, it only allows four catering vendors. I mean, air can’t even get inside this place. I bet that air will be outside of our wedding reception, saying “I’m Air! I’m on the list! I get in everywhere!”

But I digress.

Of the four vendors possible for food, only ONE of them has the title of EXCLUSIVE ALCOHOL VENDOR bestowed upon them. And one would think, with great power, comes great responsibility, right?

Well it seems that the exclusive vendor is a little irresponsible. And a little rude.

Part of me wants to bad mouth them on here, but if the company ever Googles themselves during the day, this blog may come up, and then we may have a pissed off vendor on our hands. For right now, I will call them something else—Bomb Catering.

And they are not “da’ bomb.” But they bomb. As in an epic failure at customer service.

First and foremost, we had to decide if booze was an expenditure that we wanted to even undertake. We got a lot of “what on earth is wrong with you?” glances from people when we even brought up the idea of having a dry wedding. So booze it is!

The most obvious choice and least expensive route is the cash bar. It basically says to our guests “we kind of care enough about you to provide you with this booze you wanted, but we don’t care enough to pay for it ourselves.”

There was also talk, originally, of having a champagne toast.

So this doesn’t seem like it would be THAT difficult, right?

Well, you forget we’re dealing with Bomb Catering—dropping the ball all over the place. Months ago, when we were beginning the very early planning stages, I had emailed a sales rep from Bomb, and she never got back to me. A week past, and then I called the office, and as I gave my name to the receptionist, she said, “Oh, that name sounds familiar.”

“It should,” I told her. “I emailed your company last week and no one got back to me.”

Nice work Bomb Catering.

So months go by, and we are not again just planning to get around to figuring all of this out. Since they don’t respond well to emails, Wendy tried calling them, only to get the voice mail of the sales rep we’ve had the pleasure of dealing with. This sales rep then called me moments later to say that she received a message from my fiancé, and I should tell her to call this person back. So I do, mere moments later, and Wendy later relays to me that the line is, again busy. And this line is busy for hours on end. And no one ever gets back to us.

Finally, the two of them talk, and The Bomb asks us what caterer we’ve gone with—Wendy tells them The Chow Girls, because we are vegetarian, and they had more vegetarian options. This sales girl from the Bomb then proceeds to get defensive about the catering options she could provide, and berates Wendy, telling her they have “many vegetarian options.”

They have one. And it’s ravioli. Which I’m sure has no flavor what so ever.

The rest of that phone conversation goes terribly, and now we are left with a big decision—should we just call this whole booze thing off? As the prices of everything else for this wedding continue to skyrocket, booze is something that we could both comfortably live without.

Then there’s the cost of booze. The cash bar is pretty much free, as long as you spend the minimum dollar amount. If you don’t, you have to pay the difference. What you end up paying for is a bartender and a security guard (yeah, I don’t get it either.) If you add a champagne toast onto that, you have to pay for a SECOND bartender—because it apparently takes two people to pour champagne. For the entire duration of the evening.

I think not, Bomb Catering.

As of right now, our attempts at getting a price quote (including all hidden fees and gratuities) and haggling down on the amount of bartenders needed has gone unanswered.

But don’t you fret dear reader. We will keep you updated.